Monday, July 30, 2012

Carrier Pigeon Answers Your Questions: Part 1


A look at what we do, courtesy of Tag Collective

To whom it may concern,


I have a field across the street from my house and noticed a pigeon sitting in the middle so I investigated. After walking up to the pigeon it didn't try to flee but let me pick it up. When I noticed a green band around its ankle with a four digit number. I suppose it is someone's carrier pigeon that is lost or resting? I put it in a box with rags, water and peanuts for the night.


Could you please send me some info? as to whom I should contact to return it?


Thank you in advance for any help you can offer,


Regards, Brian Kampersal


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Dear Brian,

You must have a way with animals. We're pleased to hear that you were able to give some small comfort to an out-of-work/retired/bored carrier pigeon. And we are curious: did you remove the peanut shells? Pigeons in New York eat pretty much anything—entire corndogs—but it seems like the shell would be a possible impediment.

As much as we read your letter with interest, you were a little vague about where you live, so we're not sure to whom you should be referred. The Humane Society's Animal Rescue Team? The Animal Humane Society, which is not the same thing? Don't call PETA. They'll just kill it.

In addition, don't call us. We're just a magazine! We publish fiction, illustration, and fine art. We use the carrier pigeon as our mascot, because we like to draw it. To be honest, the pigeon often suffers in our drawings. We, like PETA, could benefit from being more humane, although we, unlike PETA, didn't liken butchered cows to Holocaust victims. Thank you for reminding us all to be gentle. And buy an issue!

Love,

Carrier Pigeon

This is not what we do.

2 comments:

  1. PETA does not kill animals. The site you linked to is run by The Center for Consumer Freedom (CCF), formerly the Guest Choice Network, which is an American non-profit firm that lobbies on behalf of the fast food, meat, alcohol and tobacco industries. Lying and obfuscation about PETA and animal welfare issues is their bread and butter. FYI.

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  2. They don't actively kill animals, but they have admitted to having to euthanize a certain amount of the animals in their care. Mainly, we're just having fun.

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